Destressing from MCAT studying

I am a mere 21 hours from taking my MCAT. I’ll have to admit that I’ve never studying so much for an exam. It has been pretty stressful since this is a test that actually matters. I mean finals are important too but one test is no big deal and my other grades in that class can cushion a bad test score. Anxiety builds up in me; so much so that it’s been affecting my sleep. I wake up nauseous or sometimes just thinking about it too long makes me sick to my stomach.

The reality is my future is altered in someway by this test. Definitely.

But I’m beginning to realize I can do no more. Yes, I could be studying up until my exam, but I’m so anxious over it I feel that would be much more detrimental that helpful. I’m resigning myself to do the best that I can with what I have already done. I ripped out all the notes I have taken for this take out of notebooks so I can remind myself that although I don’t feel 100% ready, I am not completely unprepared.

I have also accepted that it’s ok if I don’t do well this time. I won’t be able to apply to med school this year but I can retake the test and apply next year. If I continue to do poorly, I’ll choose a different path altogether. I have a few back up plans already and I’ve heard of stories of people applying late in life. What I’m getting at is, this isn’t my one and only chance.

Most of you might have already known that but I guess I lost sight of the simple fact due to costs of this test, people’s expectations, and worse, my expectations. It helps me to just write it out; it makes it more real and tangible as opposed to an idea that slips away as soon as you try to speak it; a cop-out.

Everyone’s good luck wishes on facebook have been very comforting in this hectic time for me. I would just like to say thank you to everyone for your love and support :)

6th Semester

It’s kind of depressing to write that. I’ve been in college for two and a half years now…

I had a reality check early this semester about my grades, participation in clubs and life in general haha.

In short, I need to do a lot better if I want to go to med school. I decided to take all easy classes this semester to boost my g.p.a and I even joined the VT swim club (almost haha). We’ll see how this goes.

As for life, I recently planned out the next 15 or so years of my life haha and it is scary!

1 more year of undergrad

4 years of med school

6 years of residency

4 years of service to the Navy

This is if all goes according to “plan”, which includes applying for a Naval scholarship, getting it, getting into med school the first try and becoming a plastic surgeon.

I wanted to much more adventure in my life before I turned 35 lol but I suppose age is no reason not to endeavor. I want to do more reckless things and live my 20’s in poverty, traveling, helping, working… haha so many more things that just don’t make sense together or in such short time…

I want tons of odd jobs: pizza delivery, stewardess, construction, hooters waitress, janitor… etc. I want to gain new points of views form all these experiences. Working in retail as a cashier and food has already made me so much more appreciative of the people who have these jobs. You never know someone’s position in life is what I’ve learned. I’ve met so many cool and intelligent people in low paying jobs who just have bad situations.

I want a grand adventure after college before I have to start “becoming an adult” (whatever that means). I feel like this is all due to my restless personality. What other kind of person would think that chilling with a few friends and longboarding to and around campus and climbing on top of buildings (or maybe we didn’t) from 2am-5am when they have work at 8am fun? Haha I’ll let you digest that run on sentence and just leave you with this: If you want an adventure buddy, hit me up. I don’t have enough stories to tell.

Music groove

Been up talking to a new friend and I’m just in a real music groove. Made a short playlist:

One Republic - Come Home

MGMT - Electric Feel

Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks

Freelance Whales - Generated ^ First Floor

Eve 6 - Inside Out

Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning (2002)

Gary Clark Jr - Things Are Changing

Foster the People - I Would Do Anything For You

Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow you Into the Dark

Of Monsters and Men - Love Love Love

RDGLDGRN - I Love Lamp

Lent!

Alright, Lent is like my New Year’s resolution except actually doable.

Here’s what I’m giving up/doing more of:

1. Stop partying so hard

2. Decrease amount of curse words I use

***(Note: I didn’t say stop cursing!)

3. Eat healthier

- I will actually start eating vegetables and will decrease the amount of carbs I eat (aka no deserts or snacks)

4. Go to Church

5. Actually study

If you see me not doing this, call me out! You help and support would be greatly appreciated :D <333

It’s here! 2012 :D

So as generic as this might be I have decided to start keeping a blog about my life for the entire year! (aka actually use my tumblr) But let’s start with yesterday…

Dec. 31, 2011

On the eve of new year’s day, I hung out with my roommate from college, Ashley, and my future roommate, Jessi, along with other friends from college, Terri, Trevor (my best friend haha) and Wayne. We went to eat at a Thai restaurant in downtown Manassas (who knew Manassas had a downtown?). It was great! The food was good and everyone liked what they ordered.

When leaving, we split up. Trevor and Terri went wherever they were going, while Jessi, Ashley, Wayne and I headed back to my place (after a quick pit stop at Jessi’s). When we arrived (which was around 1045pm), we decided to name all 151 original pokemon.

This is how I spent my new year’s eve. Coolest kids right here…

the list started with ashley spontaneously shouting DIGLETT and progressed from there. I am sad to say we missed 3 pokemon: dodou, dodrio and porygon T_T. There is always next new year’s eve lol

After that (which was about 30 mins or so) I was going to head over to my aunt’s (she lives across the street) but my sister wanted to go to a party at a mutual friend’s, so I ended up driving her. When we arrived it was about 20 til midnight. We were supposed to just stop by and say hi, but that didn’t happen. Gaby, my sister, ended up texting our parents we will return after the ball drop so we wouldn’t miss it.

It was actually fun to watch this year. I can’t remember what I was doing last year… but I’m sure I will remember this year’s. I was sitting with my high school friends: Phillip, whom I met my freshman year, Ioana, whom I met sophomore or junior year (…details…), Mike Lewis (whom I’ve known since sixth grade) and the host of the party, James (whom I’ve known since eighth grade). Sitting there, reminiscing the fun times we’ve had, and will have, just made me think about life a little bit. I’m not one for detail or remembering much. I’m pretty insensitive and most such things go over my head, but sitting there with them… made me very thankful I have been able to keep these friends.

The night went on and eventually I left and departed for home.

Jan. 1, 2012

As you may have guessed, it was already Jan. 1 in that last paragraph. I got home, said happy new year’s to all my relatives at my aunt’s and walked home to sleep.

I woke this morning thinking I was supposed to go to Dave and Buster’s with my family (as is tradition) but plans kind of fell through. So I ended up having to play with one of my younger cousins.

He is… very hyperactive. This little child gives the biggest, cutest smiles while trying to beat you up or call you mean things. It’s as though he never grew out of his “terrible twos”. However, I see a lot of myself in this kid (always getting trouble because he can’t stop talking, saying inappropriate things, doing inappropriate things, etc.) so I try to hang out and play with him.

We ended up having a great time! While I was playing Assassin’s Creed II, he randomly started singing part of the original team rocket motto (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBVrPWwSlRM&feature=related) and when he got stuck I finished a part for him and we kept going back and forth til the end. We repeated this a few times (he seemed to enjoy someone was saying it with him for once). We even ended up doing a pose at the end (when Jesse and James say their names)! We also learned how to do the “Fusion Technique” from DBZ: Buu saga (it went a little something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdaLxNpvI4U).

He eventually have to leave eand so I continued playing my Assassin’s Creed II game my sister bought me for Christmas. I’m only allowed to play when she’s watching though (that as the deal) so I go back and forth between that and Skyward Sword. I have just beaten the first temple and am almost done with the second. I like it so far. The boss looks like a dork but is wicked strong; Hopefully the boss battles will continue to be fun and challenging.

That’s pretty much all that’s happened so far. I’ll update every once in a while if something fun has happened :D Happy New Year’s everyone!